Solutions
The idea of a quick fix, has long been sought after but always looked down upon as being unsatisfactory.
Indeed in therapy, the idea of quick fix, treating the symptom might seem to go against the nature of Holistic therapy.
But for many people the symptom is the problem.
A fear of flying, for example, is just a fear of flying. By removing that fear people can get on planes and go on holiday. There's no need to "get to the root of the problem" Fear of flying IS the problem.
Indeed by removing the fear, it's very common for other irrational or unwanted fears to disappear also.
Here I'll explore some of the more common solutions I deal with to give you an idea of how and why Hypnotherapy and Psychotherapy work.
please note, the names have been changed to respect privacy, but the cases are real.
"I don't really know what changed, or exactly when. I only really noticed that I hadn't had a panic attack for ages" - JB: Tattenhall
Often referred to as "weight loss", but it is much more than just simply losing weight.
Weight control is about eating well, eating healthily, being slim and being happy. It shouldn't involve dieting, calorie counting or restrictive eating.
Example:
Barbara. 47, Housewife and Mother.
Barabara came to see me in much despair and distress. On the Phone she'd mentioned her "eating problem" (her words).
She was about 5-6 stone overweight and very very unhappy about it. She obsessed about food. When she went shopping she had to buy a few doughnuts "to keep her going" and then some for home, which was always meant to be for the family, but were always eaten by her.
She would eat as much as she could before going out with her friends so that she could order a salad and just pick at it, so that her friends thought she didn't eat much.
She had been on dozens of diets, Weight Watchers, Slimming World and others. Some with a little bit of success initially, but always ended up putting the weight back on - and putting on a bit more for "good measure". She'd tried calorie counting, fat counting, carb' counting, restricting food, eating only at certain times of the day and so on.
She would weigh herself religiously every Friday morning, but if she was even a pound heavier than the week before it would put her in a bad mood all weekend.
She knew her friends thought of her as fat, and wouldn't invite her out if they went clothes shopping (so she didn't feel embarrassed about not being able to fit in any of "their-style" clothes)
Barbara, loved food, and she saw this as her Achillies' heel, but in fact it was her love of food that helped her slim down and take control of her eating.
Over 4 sessions, we worked on getting her to slow down her eating and to really enjoy every mouthful. Smelling the food before eating it, savouring the taste, exploring the changing texture.
We also worked on getting her to recognise when she was full - so that didn't need to over eat and on re-training her beliefs about food - she didn't need to clear her plate at each meal, she didn't need to eat if she wasn't hungry, she needed to understand the difference between genuine hunger and low - blood sugar, (often brought on through eating sugar and refined carbohydrates)
She also learned to stop living her life by her weight and her scales and trust herself to "feel" when she felt thinner.
After just one session, the difference was amazing. She looked happier, more relaxed and confirmed that she felt more in control. So much so, that she'd found she hadn't been snacking on doughnuts, or chocoloate. She was eating more slowly and finding that she became full much more quickly than before so ended up not eating as much and then not cooking as much.
Each week she felt better and healthier and more in control. After the third session she felt good enough to begin to raise her activity levels, walking to her local shop rather than driving, walking up stairs instead of taking the escalator and so on.
What amazed Barbara the most, was that she found it so easy to do. She ate like a "normal person" (her words) and for the first time in a long while felt empowered and back in control.
Her confidence improved enormously and she found that she was happier and this improved her relationship with her husband and son.
I spoke to her again about 6 months later and was delighted when she told me that she'd lost nearly 3 stone and she felt really good, still felt in control and was still amazed at how easy and enjoyable it was.
"I'd feel so nervous taking my driving tests that I'd failed
4 times and rather than get easier each time they seemed to make me more terrified.
The last session of Hypnotherapy [with Iain] was right before the 5th test.
I was so relaxed, so calm and so confident afterwards that I just knew I'd
pass this time - (and I did) "
-
M Hughes: Rhostyllen, Wrexham
Confidence is quite unusual, in that it's something we only really notice when we perceive we don't have enough.
It's also something you can never have too much of. (people we might describe as "overly confident" are in fact lacking in self esteem)
Example:
Gareth. 21, Delivery Driver.
Gareth felt his lack of confidence most when out in social occasions. In groups he felt unable to make a contribution to the conversation and regularly described himself as feeling as though he was "tag along" in the group. In one-to-one situations he wasn't much better, feeling unable to just chat and get to know someone.
However, he felt his biggest problem was with women. He just couldn't talk to
them, even when they started talking to him, he wouldn't know what to say or
how to behave. Invariably he would end up playing with his mobile phone, or making
an excuse to go the toilet only to never return. The only times this didn't happen,
was when he was very drunk, when he still wouldn't know what to say, but it didn't
bother him quite so much.
Over about 5 sessions (spread over 3 months) we worked on changing his self image, developing communication and listening skills, and building confidence.
The primary problem Gareth had was in the pictures and "movies" he would play out in his head when socialising. He would sit with his friends, listening to them talk, and imagine himself saying something. When he did he pictured them all turning round and staring at him, as if he'd said the most irrelevent, pointless and idiotic thing possible. Needless to say, with this possibility in his mind, he rarely spoke out.
Similarly, with women, he would imagine every good looking woman that may approach him as "doing it for a joke" and then laughing at him with her friends.
We found that when Gareth played better movies in his head, of the things he really wanted, and merged them with how good he could feel, the effects were spectacular.
One of the scenarious Gareth played out was to imagine seeing a beautiful woman in front of him, her hair flowing back in slow motion as if driven by a gentle breeze. She looked at him, and he looked at her, in slow motion she smiled at him and then times slowed down. He heard a fanfare of trumpets and choir singing his name. He knew that her world would be enriched by his presence so he walked over confidently and said "hello" and began chatting and listening.
Now that example, might seem a little over the top, but it gave Gareth the first glimpse in his imagination of how things COULD be. So that rather than seeing the worst outcome and trying to avoid it, he could see the best possible outcome and actively try and make it happen.
After just a couple of sessions, he noticed that he no longer felt shy about talking with his friends, in fact he was actively partipating in discussions.
After the third session he approached a "beautiful woman" in a nightclub and asked her to dance. The first time he'd ever done that. Even though she said no, (she had a boyfriend), far from being devasted he felt empowered at asking her, so much so, that he danced with 3 woman that night.
There was no need to explore, why Gareth lacked self confidence, no need to explore the relationship with his parents, his childhood or time at school - although initially Gareth felt each of those had eroded his self confidence, particularly the relationship with his domineering father.
What he needed was tools and skills to develop the confidence in himself. Using them, not just for talking in group, or talking to women, but in any area of his life where he had previously felt un-confident.
"I can't believe that it was so quick and so easy to get rid of my [weight] problem. I've been battling with it all my life. " - C Adams, Northwich
For some people the cause of Phobia is a single traumatic event, or several traumatic events. For others, it's learned from other people, our parents, our friends or just from seeing other people being frightened on television.
Phobias are always just over generalisations done by the mind. Your mind needs to make generalisatons all the time and mostly they're usually useful. For example, you learn how to turn the handle of a door as a child, your mind then generalises about all doors (with similar handles). If it didn't do this, you would have to re-learn how to open a door every time you came across one.
Phobias occur when there is a fear of one thing, one time, one object, one occasion etc, but the brain generalises that you should be frightened all the time. For example: being bitten by a dog once, your brain overgeneralises to tell you that you should be afraid of all dogs, all the time, rather than just the one that bit you It creates a rationale that you accept "all dogs are unpredictable" or "dogs could bite me" to maintain your fear.
Example:
John. 49, Police Officer, married
Feaf of Darkness (Nyctophobia) & Fear of Enclosed Spaces (Claustraphobia)
Although, a police officer, John's phobia of the dark had been getting steadily worse and worse for the last 25 years. Whilst in the army, the vehicle he'd been driving, had fallen from a steep hill and into a ditch, where it lay all night with him trapped inside.
Now, in the police force he was doing his best to avoid situations where he
would have to enter darkened buildings or rooms. Despite this, his fear was getting
worse and he was finding himself avoiding going into other people's cars, getting
into the back of police vans, and even avoiding the cubicles in the staff toilet.
He always had to sleep with a night light on in his bedroom and leave the light
on in the bathroom in case he needed to use the toilet during the night. 
More
"...The difference in my husband is amazing, he's like a different person. You didn't swap him for another one did you? " - LBL: Whitchurch
Trichotillomania (hair pulling) & Trichotillophagia (Hair Eating)
Trich' sufferers pull out individual hairs from their body, commonly their head, (but can be from arms, eyebrows, eye lashes or even pubic hair).
It's categorised as an Obsessive Compulsive Disorders by most psychologists but is just an inappropriate coping strategy or habit that's been practiced and repeated over time.
Hair eating is often the second part of the hair pulling for most sufferers. Some people eat the whole hair, others just the root or tip. Over time Trichotillomania leads to fragile hair, very weak roots and bald patches, and in extreme cases the hair is so damaged it is unable to grow back.
Example:
Marion. 39, Graphic Designer, married.
Marion came to see me because she'd had enough of her hair pulling, her long brown hair was tied in a top-knot to cover the bald patch just in front of the the crown.
She'd started pulling eye lashes at age 8, quickly moving onto eyebrows and
then migrated to her head hair around 11 or 12. For her, it was something she
did when alone, tired, fed up or absorbed in tv. A single hair at a time, followed
by the examining of the hair and the eating of the root.
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